This is intended to be an ad hoc review of the sounds from Stanley Kubrick's amazing film Dr. Strangelove. These are lines, or exchanges, of dialog that I find stick with me, and contribute to my coming back to this film again and again -- indeed, I think that this is one of the two best films yet made (the other is Apocalypse Now). This presentation is intended only as cinematic criticism (and is therefore fair use under copyright law).

These sounds were sampled in mono, 8 bits, 11kHz, from the laserdisc of the film -- for each, I've provided the length in seconds and the size of the .wav file.

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     "I can no longer sit back and allow -- Communist infiltration -- Communist indoctrination -- Communist subversion -- and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids!" fluids.wav (21s/225K)

     "Women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence." women.wav (12s/126K)

     "Well I've been to one World's Fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard come over a set of earphones." rodeo.wav (6s/63K)

     "Well boys, I reckon this is it -- nuclear combat toe to toe with the Ruskies!" ruskies.wav (6s/66K)

     "Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!!" war-room.wav (3s/29K)

     "And although I hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like Gen. Ripper exceeded his authority." authorty.wav (7s/78K)

     "Well, I don't think it's quite fair to condemn the whole program because of a single slip-up, sir." slip-up.wav (6s/61K)

     "If, on the other hand, we were to immediately launch an all-out and coordinated attack on all of their airfields and missile bases, we'd stand a good chance of catchin' 'em with their pants down." catch.wav (12s/129K)

     "Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed -- but I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops -- depending on the breaks." mussed.wav (9s/96K)

     "And my advice to you is to give me the code now, and if those devils come back and try any rough stuff, we'll fight 'em together, boy, like we did just now, on the floor, eh? You with the old gun, and me with the belt and the ammo, feeding you -- 'Feed me' you said, and I was feeding you, Jack!" feeding.wav (16s/174K)

     "Say, you're going to have a little wash and brush up, are you, what a good idea. Always does wonders for a man, that, Jack, a little wash and brush up, water on the back of the neck. Makes you feel marvelous. That's what we need, Jack, water on the back of the neck and the code." wash-up.wav (11s/113K)

     "Now look, Col. Bat Guano, if that really is your name...." batguano.wav (4s/41K)

     "I think you're some kind of deviated prevert, and I think Gen. Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts." prevert.wav (8s/83K)

     "OK, I'm going to get your money for you. But if you don't get the President of the United States on that phone, you know what's going to happen to you?"
     "What?"
     "You're going to have to answer to the Coca Cola Company." coke.wav (10s/113K)

     "Well boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio's gone and we're leaking fuel -- and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing. But we got one little fudge on them Ruskies, at this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!" no-radar.wav (19s/210K)

     "Well, sir, if the pilot's good, see, I mean if he's really sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low - I mean, you ought to see it sometime, it's a sight -- a big plane, like a 52 -- vroom! -- jet exhaust frying chickens in the barnyard!"
     "Yeah, but has he got a chance?!"
     "Has he got a chance?! Hell, ye- -- ye-...." chickens.wav (20s/217K)

     "Hey, what about Maj. Kong?"
     "Yeeeehah! [etc.]" kongride.wav (13s/144K)

     "Mr. President, I would not rule out the chance to preserve a nucleus of human specimens." nucleus.wav (6s/66K)

     "Mr. President, I'm beginning to smell a big fat Commie rat!" smellrat.wav (4s/48K)

     "It would not be difficult, mein Fuhrer, nuclear reactors could -- sorry, Mr. President -- nuclear reactors could provide power almost indefinitely, greenhouses could maintain plant life, animals could be bred and slaughtered...." slaughtr.wav (16s/172K)

     "Mr. President, we must not allow a mine shaft gap!" gap.wav (4s/47K)

     "I have a plan -- mein Fuhrer! I can walk!" can-walk.wav (8s/88K)

   Check out my sounds from other movies!